Chapter Nine: "Now That We Have a House"

Haruo: "I swear that my brain has just melted from watching the idiocy on TV. Is there anything better on this idiot-tube than Snow Capers?"

Watcher: "Not really...you could switch to the cooking channel and learn something."

Haruo: "Maybe I'll just go and deposit the plasma bugs over at the science center."

Watcher: "Now there's a thought."

Watcher: "...and when you get back don't forget to water the orchard...and the dogs...they're looking kinda parched."

Haruo: "Nag nag nag..."

Watcher: "oh...and the cats too."

Haruo: "I'm going fishing..."

Watcher: "Convenient. Don't forget to catch dinner!"

Haruo: "What?"

Watcher: "You're an angler, you figure it out."

New Narrator: "Later on that night, Haruo took his catch to the store and dropped it off for more simoleons, but didn't take into account the fact that the full moon was out that night. And well, he being under the spell of the moon, changed over into his bad self. Like y'know. Shades of George Clinton."...

Haruo: "Oh...ha ha ha...very funny. very Intense..."

New Narrator: "He decided to show his fangs to Gladsten Farmwell and well, Gladsten decided to tell Haruo to "Go on, Get it with your bad self."

Haruo: "Hey...! Is there anyway that we can have the old narrator back. This one's jokes are so bad they reek."

Gladsten Farmwell: "Hey...what the hell's with trying to show your fangs at me?"

Haruo: "I'm a werewolf, that's what I do."

New Narrator: "After trouncing Gladsten in a fight, Haruo decided to scare the living daylights out of Gladsten."

New Narrator: "Now that he was done making friends and influencing people, Haruo decided to head down to Varg's Tavern where he decided to have a few drinks and meet some new people."

New Narrator: "Needless to say his "I've got fleas, care to pick them off me?" come-on schtick didn't get him any takers. Nope, Beatrice Crumplebottom recoiled in revulsion.

New Narrator: "Of course, fleas didn't really bother the undead and there was one particular vamp that didn't mind the come-on. In fact she was eyeing him like he was a prime A-1 plasma donor. They chatted for a while, but y'know weres and vamps go together like oil and water so Haruo went home and read a book. Fangs for the memories."

Haruo: "I want the old narrator back!"