Chapter Three - Arguing with Toilets and Other Inanities

JAG Insanity
with apologies to Donald Bellisario
DISCLAIMER: The characters Harm Rabb, Jr., Sarah "Mac" Mackenzie, Meg Austin, AJ Chegwidden, Bud Roberts, Harriet Sims-Roberts et al. belong (in concept if not name) to CBS/Bellisarius. Animal and all OC characters are the property of Heather and Hugo Chikamori. No profit is being made from this story, nor is any infringement intended.

Chapter Three - Arguing with Toilets and Other Inanities

Well, it appears as though there's a war going on between Meg and Liandra. It appears that they both got a hold of some weapons of mass destruction. These weren't your wussy soft cotton-filled pillows. They were sweaty, dust-mite loaded, goose feather filled weapons of mass biological terror. You get hit by one of those things and your cranial brain encasement does a great impression of a bobblehead. Hell, you could give someone a concussion with those things.

Kimber: "Hello"
Telemarketer: "Hello, I'm Natasha from Sprint, could I interest you in a great new cellular plan that we've started. You get 60 minutes a month free talk time and it's 10c a minute after that. What's your current mobile provider?"
Kimber: "Not interested..." hangs up.

Mac tried to discuss matters with Tosh; namely complaining about the fact that she was stuck with a cast of mental patients. All he seemed to hear was a trombone with a wah-wah mute. Yes, folks, that's how interested he was. Yeah, you served with us, now you're stuck with us was his only thought. "Go have a coffee, Mac..."

Meanwhile, Jen was having a vociferous argument with the toilet. It was flushed. I mean, heck, wouldn't you be too, if you had to sit around in one place and take carp from everyone?

Of course that meant that no-one could use the toilet...and a lineup ensued.
Meg: "For crying out loud, Jen, it's not going to answer you, so leave enough alone, will ya?"

So Jen left well enough alone and went off to go have herself some oatmeal or something quick out of the fridge. Maybe sitting in front of the fire would help in terms of mental equilibrium or something.

...and it appeared as though the Great Pillow War had resumed between Meg Austin and Liandra Gracen. And the Great Unicorn of Sunset Valley looked upon these proceedings and said: "They're all friggin' nuts, I'm outta here..."

After the truce was declared, Lia proceeded on a rant describing the efficacies of sea-turtle husbandry while Phil standing opposite of Harm, who was eating, went off on a rant about crabs - not that kind!

And Tosh just ended up eating standing up because there was no way in hell he was going to spend time listening to Phil rant endlessly about crustaceans, even though they tasted good. I think Phil was ranting about the exhorbitant prices of Alaskan King Crabs. Well, ~shrug~ if it gives Phil something to do...

...and Haruo...well, no-one saw him around because he stayed away from the rest of the group. Even with a tenuous spark of sanity in him, hanging around these guys was sure to drive him completely off the cliff.